Clueless
by Gertrude Granger
Summary: In the sequel to "Food Run," Chase is an idiot.


**Author's Note: This is the sequel to my other Gert/Chase fic, "Food Run." Both stories take place in between **_**Runaways**_** #12 and #13 (after the kids meets Cloak and Dagger, but before their final showdown with the Pride).**

O0O0O

After the pawnshop fiasco, Alex announced they were on lockdown. No leaving the Hostel. No exceptions. This might not have been so bad, except that they didn't have TV, Internet, or video games. That pretty much exhausted Chase's ideas for indoor activities.

"Who knew being on the run from your supervillain parents could be so _boring?"_

Moaning dramatically, he flopped onto the sofa. Gert rolled her eyes.

"Be grateful you're bored," she said. "It means you're not in immediate peril."

She was curled in an armchair with Old Lace's head in her lap. The rest of the gang were nowhere to be seen. The Hostel was big enough that they could go hours without bumping into each other. At first, Chase had loved this, but now it just made him feel lonely.

"There's an old chessboard in the hall closet, if you're really that desperate for a distraction," said Gert.

"I don't know how to play chess."

"I can teach you."

Chase raised his eyebrows. "Seriously? You'd try to teach a dummy like me?"

"You're not really dumb when you focus."

Chase smiled. "Okay. It beats staring at the ceiling for another hour."

The hall closet was even more of a mess than the rest of the house, and that was saying something. They had to pull out half its contents before they could reach the chessboard.

"What are you guys doing? Feng shui?"

Chase peered around the stack of books in his arms. Karolina was watching them from the foot of the staircase.

Suddenly, he remembered that there was one other indoor activity he liked.

"We're going to play chess!" he said. "Want to join us?" It wasn't the best pickup line in the world, but hey, you work with what you've got.

"It's a two person game," said Gert, frowning.

"So she can play the winner. Or you two can play first. I wouldn't mind watching." He winked at Karolina. She didn't seem to notice.

"Thanks," she said, "but I only came down here to get this." She rummaged through the junk for a minute before holding up a battered deck of cards. "Nico, Molly, and I are going to play Go Fish."

"Awesome! I actually know how to play that game." Chase set down the stack of books. "I can join you guys, right?"

"Sure."

He turned to Gert. "You want to play, too?"

"I think I'll pass," said Gert. It was only then that Chase realized she was fuming. Uh-oh.

"You can still teach me how to play chess," he said. "Just, you know, later."

"Actually, I think I might pass on that, too."

She stormed up the stairs. Chase looked helplessly at Karolina.

"Oh, Chase," she sighed. "I think you'd better go apologize." Chase nodded and took off. He caught up with Gert right outside her room.

"Look, I'm sorry," he said. "That was kind of a dick move. But…" He grinned sheepishly. "I kind of get carried away when it comes to Karolina."

He'd hoped this confession would appease Gert, or at least distract her. Instead, she looked even more pissed off.

"Yeah, I've noticed," she said. "Enjoy your card game."

She went into her room, slamming the door behind her. A second later, she poked her head out.

"And work on your gaydar!"

She slammed the door again. Chase waited, but this time, she didn't come back. He didn't know if she could hear him, but he voiced his thoughts anyway:

"What the _hell?"_

O0O0O

When they were all tired of Go Fish, Chase went looking for Gert. She wasn't in any of the rooms they all shared, so he assumed she was still in her bedroom. There was no answer when he knocked.

Chase needed to talk to another guy about this. Unfortunately, there was only one around, and he was hardly a ladies' man—though, come to think of it, he'd been doing pretty well with Nico. Maybe it was worth a shot.

The door to Alex's room was ajar, which Chase took as an open invitation.

"Chicks are crazy," he announced.

Without looking up from the Abstract, Alex said, "You don't say."

"Yeah." Chase made himself at home on Alex's bed. "Gert was going to teach me to play chess, but I had to take a rain check, and she totally flipped out! What's the big deal?"

"Why'd you have to take a rain check?"

"I wanted to play cards with Karolina instead—and Nico and Molly."

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. "Chase, has it occurred to you that Gert might not appreciate you blowing her off to spend time with Karolina?"

"Why would she care?"

"Maybe she was…you know…jealous."

Chase thought hard about that for a minute. Suddenly, it clicked.

"Oh man," he said. "Now I feel like a jerk."

"You should."

"Poor Gert. This must suck for her."

"Yeah, I'd imagine so."

"I mean, being gay must be hard enough without having to watch your crush flirt with your friend."

"Yeah, I—wait, what?"

"Gert _likes_ Karolina!" Chase said this as though it were the most obvious thing in the world—which it was, now that he thought about it. "That's why she got so upset. And then she told me to work on my gaydar! Wow, do I feel stupid!"

Alex said nothing. He probably thought it would be rude to say, "Yeah, you are stupid." But his expression said it for him.

"I should apologize to Gert," Chase said, standing. "I mean, I already did, but for the wrong thing."

"I'm not sure that's…" Alex stopped short, sighing. "You know what? Never mind. Do whatever you want."

Chase punched him in the shoulder as he passed. "Thanks, bro!"

"You're welcome, I guess."

O0O0O

Chase could be patient when it really mattered. When Gert didn't respond to his knock, he gave her another half hour to cool off and tried again. And again. And again. Finally, the door opened.

"What?" she snarled.

So much for giving her time to cool off. She must have answered the door just to get him to stop knocking. Well, whatever worked.

"Gert, listen," he said. "I think I know why you got so upset earlier."

Gert turned very red. "You do?"

"Yeah." Chase smiled reassuringly. "And I just want you to know, I totally support you."

For some reason, Gert looked confused. "Um, what?"

"It doesn't matter to me," he went on. "You're still my buddy. And I'm sure Karolina would be flattered if she knew. But, I've got to be honest: I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. Just because Karolina is all hippie-dippy doesn't mean she likes girls."

He'd expected this conversation to make Gert a little emotional. He'd even prepared himself for tears. He wasn't prepared for Gert to burst out laughing.

"You think I have a crush on _Karolina_," she said.

"Um, yeah," he said warily. "Am I wrong?"

"Yes, Chase. You're wrong about so, so many things."

She was still laughing, but there was bitterness in her voice. Chase definitely felt that he was being laughed at, not with. His cheeks flushed.

"Then you're going to have to spell it out for me," he said coldly. "I guess I'm even stupider than usual today."

Gert looked sad. "No, Chase. For once, I think I was the stupid one."

She closed the door. At least this time, she didn't slam it.

Chase went back to his room feeling more confused than ever.

"_Women_," he muttered.

O0O0O

**Thanks for reading! There will not be another sequel, as Brian K. Vaughan already wrote the perfect conclusion to this love story (see **_**Runaways**_** #16-18).**


End file.
